I have been thinking about this for weeks. Actually dreading might be a better word. The idea of blogging is exciting at times (mostly the times when I am not actually sitting here typing) but I have to confess that I am terrified. I wanted to sit down and plan out a few weeks of posts to make myself feel better. But my best friend (and by best friend, I mean boyfriend) said that I am completely missing the point. He was right, but now you're left with disorganized babbling and rambling. Don't worry. I'm hoping it will get better.
Let's start at the beginning because, as a singing nun once said, its a very good place to start. A great friend of mine showed by this blog. I became slightly obsessed with this woman (not in a creepy way, I swear.) I was inspired by her openness and her courage to let everyone into her personal life. And not just friends and family, mind you, everyone on the internet! She shared not only her happiness but also her pain and insecurities. I admired her strength and I knew I wanted (and needed) to be more open. Then I saw this video posted in one of the entries:
I was hooked. I wanted to tap into creativity, to innovation. I wanted to be courageous and real. But most of all, I wanted to be me. And not someone's unattainable expectation of me. Not even my own perception of what I thought I should be. It just sounded so liberating to actually be me. To really and truly be seen, as she says. Is this a novel concept? Probably not. Should I have learned this a long time ago? Most definitely. But for one reason or another I didn't. So here I am, a quarter century old embarking on a journey of... at the risk of sounding super cliche... self-discovery. Super stoked. Super nervous. Super terrified (but I'm pretty sure I mentioned that).
I'm hoping I'm not alone in this. I hope I'm not the only one who finds themselves thinking "I should really read more nonfiction" as I reach for yet another Rick Riordan novel. But even if I am, that's the whole point of this, right? To become ok with who we really are. Actually, to LOVE who we really are.
So here's learning who I am, learning to love it, and being seen. Here's to leaning into the discomfort.